I really can’t believe that it’s been 100 days since I started my quit. At times it seemed longer and at times it seemed like the time passed like a rocket! There have been many ups and downs on the journey so far but I must say it’s mostly been ups and the downs have been dealt with in the true nature of a nonsmoker.
Never did I think of lighting up because of some situation in my life. I mean really, life is never the same every day and yes we do run into some situations that we find uncomfortable or stressful but that really doesn’t have to translate into smoking. I think the only reason some of us even think that smoking fixes these things is because we used it as a crutch for so long. It was just another of the ways that our internal addict justified the addiction to our minds. Another way to fool ourselves into thinking that smoking is a necessary part of our lives.
Still, I do get urges but they are more like the memories that I was told about long ago. And believe me, this is one of the most important things that I’ve learned along the way (thanks Dale). Once we can understand that the urges are indeed memories and not the physical manifestation of withdrawals that we had at first, then it’s easier to comprehend what’s happening to us. It’s easier to find the reasons why we still feel these urges so long after we actually quit.
But every time I deal with one of these urges I know that another memory has been dealt with and that this puts me ever closer to where I want to be. Each memory that is relived reduces the power that the original addiction has over us. So, although this might sound strange to some of you, I embrace each of those memories. I go ahead and see that past moment in my minds eye so that I can put that one away, aware that it has lost some of it’s power but also aware that these memories can sneak up on me at any time.
Does all of this bother me? Not in the least! I find it to be a part of the process of losing an addiction and I think that until our minds go through the entire process we will never be truly free, though we will still find peace with ourselves. We will still be able to move on with our lives and we’ll be able to do this without the old ball and chain of the past.
So take heart! It does get easier with each passing day but we must still bear in mind that quitting is a process and we all must live that process in one way or another before our job is done. We must try to understand how our mind uses those memories to eventually rid us of the entire addiction because quitting in reality is a healing process.
It’s the way our minds deal with something so entangled within our beings that it can’t be removed in a week or a month. No, it’s a process that takes time but it really is time well spent.
So continue on my friends! Only look back when you need to learn. Always remember that what we do now in the present effects what will happen in our future. And the truth of the matter is that it’s our futures we care about or we’d never have even thought of quitting. It’s our health that matters to us and it’s proving to ourselves that if we believe. If we really, really want something then with a little time and effort we can have it.
I look forward to a future that is brighter without an addiction. I look forward to the days and years ahead where I can walk the walk of freedom and know in my heart that though it took time. Though it took effort and though I had to walk a path I never thought I could, I did it and just by starting the path, I know in my heart that I have chosen freedom and that nothing will stop me from achieving that freedom!
And just remember, we all start at the same place with the decision to quit smoking. We all feel those same fears at first. We all have to fight and scratch our way through those first weeks but the most important thing of all is that we all find ways to win!
No matter what it takes. No matter how hard it can seem, we can all win this thing together. And so I thank all of you for helping me to achieve the century mark with my quit!
Onward to freedom!!