As I approach ninety days since I quit, I can kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can see the summit of Mt. Freedom so clearly now. And what a beautiful summit it is, filled with the dazzling colors of success! Filled with the ever increasing vibrations of freedom.
Still, I walk upward, never doubting that I will reach the top. Sure there’s still the internal fight going on though it’s losing some of it’s power over me every day. Sure, I still must climb while dragging my internal addict kicking and screaming to the top. But the bottom line is that I’m still climbing and each step is another step toward freedom!
I can now attest for myself that the journey does get easier though we must always be careful for at any given time a memory that we don’t really want pops into our heads seemingly out of nowhere. A memory of smoking. You know, the one where you can see yourself in your past life sitting in a given situation and smoking that cigarette. The one where you can almost taste the nasty vile thing and yet the memory tells you that you enjoyed it. The memory tells you that you miss it. The memory tries to derail your progress with urges that are no longer physical but are still there. The urges that we remember from our past life as a smoker.
These things are something that must always be watched for but at the same time it’s important to remember that every time we embrace one of those memories. Every time we relive that moment, it’s taking us one step closer to the summit. It’s a process that must be completed before we can truly be free and it’s one that we must always be ready for so that we can use it to move on rather then be surprised by it and in this way be hindered from moving onward.
It’s our minds slowly releasing us from a past that is deeply ingrained within us. It’s our bodies understanding that we feel as we do because we no longer smoke. It’s us walking the path to freedom and never believing that it will be any other way so long as we hold true to our hearts and our promise to ourselves.
It’s important to remember that we really are doing an incredibly good thing for ourselves. We must never forget that in the wake of our commitment. Let the memories come and live them for a moment and then dismiss them just as quickly and soon the mind will have relived all that it must in order to free itself of the tentacles of addiction.
Freedom takes time my friends. Freedom takes commitment and in the end freedom requires a kind of love for life that we never felt before. It takes an understanding that this is the only way it can be. There is no other option!
But in the end, it’s worth all that we must endure. It’s worth the fight that we must make. It’s worth every step of the journey that we must take. So keep fighting! Together we WILL find freedom and this is a very good thing for who would ever want to experience true freedom alone? It’s just to wonderful a feeling to bottle up inside and never share with another. So I know I’ll always keep climbing. I’ll always keep my eye on that summit.
And when those crazy memories attack my brain I will smile with the knowledge that though it may create a slightly uncomfortable feeling right now, it’s manifestation is still taking me one step closer to final and total freedom!