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All People > Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 > Chuck_Quit_2-20-2011 Blog > 2011 > May

The further I progress on the path to freedom, the more I seem to look back at those first days of my quit. I had prepped for my quit for well over a month. I had my reasons for quitting firmly implanted in my brain and I felt no fear as the final day approached. I just knew I was as ready as I was ever going to be.




Though the first days were hard, I still found them to be easier then I expected. I think this is because I really expected the worst and when I was prepared for a horrible day it in the end wasn’t quite what I thought it was going to be.


I never really missed the cigarette much. But I did of course crave one. I forced myself to remember that the cravings only last for a few minutes. Soon I was able to identify the onset of an urge. This allowed me to prepare myself mentally for what was about to happen.


I remember when I was prepping to quit. I would do something that I called "practice quits."


This was when I would go several hours at a time without a cigarette. The purpose of this was so it was clear in my mind what the addict within was going to do to me to get me to smoke. It was to gain what I believed would be some much needed experience for my future quit. Thing is that when I actually quit, I used the nicotine patch so the cravings weren’t as bad as my test quits led me to believe they would be.


But the bottom line is that with time it does get easier. The urges lose their ability to ruin our days and they appear fewer and fewer times every day. We simply get used to living our lives without cigarettes. We no longer see ourselves as smokers and soon, the internal addict loses much of its power. It’s thrown all of it’s temper tantrums and has discovered that it cannot make us smoke.


So really, the way I got through those days was to look to the future and try not to dwell on the present to much. I always reminded myself that what I do today will have a direct impact on tomorrow. Today I am deciding how my future will be. And all I really wanted to see was as bright a future as possible.


So when it looks bleak, remember the sun. When it looks impossible, know that it isn’t. So many have gone through this very same thing and come out on the other side a happy individual. A person that’s a little more confident in the future. A person who has gained so much insight into themselves because they had to in order to quit.


There is so much on the horizon if we can just drag ourselves out of the moment and look to see it. It’s there for the taking. All we have to do is find that new perspective and we will find it! It’s the prize of being free not only from our addictions but from ourselves for you see, we lived so long under the thumb of our addictions that many of us have forgotten what it’s like to be free. Many have forgotten what it’s like to be at peace with ourselves. Many have forgotten what it’s like to really believe in ourselves.


So really, although it may be hard now. Although it may seem almost impossible to get through the day, know that the fight is worth it. Understand that freedom is worth all the pain that we must feel at first. Try to see past today and peer into tomorrow and if you can really see tomorrow without cigarettes then you’ll be one step closer to winning back your life!


This is how we free ourselves from ourselves. One step at a time, one day at a time, one urge at a time. And though it may be hard right now, believe me when I say that every craving that we have to deal with. Every urge that we survive brings us closer to the prize. It brings us closer to easier days. And in the end it will bring you closer to yourself then you’ve ever been before!


Keep your eye on the prize!! Onward to freedom!!

Boy what a journey this has been! It started seemingly so long ago and yet I know that in reality the passage of time has been miniscule compared to how long I smoked. I’ve lived the memories and actually at times embraced those memories of smoking just to get them out of my system. It was a rather unique exercise that paid off in the end. I simply sat there and thought about those times I smoked in the past. And you know what? Over time those memories lost their power over me.


It was almost as if I was playing with my internal addict and that this part of my brain was responding to this visualization exercise, taking away the power that it once had. In other words, it never really made me crave a cigarette once I dealt with those memories. I wouldn’t have tried this before I was very confident in my quit but to me it was well worth the time.


And the triggers! They seem to be all but nonexistent these days. In other words, when I experience one of those stressful moments where I used to always reach for a cigarette, the association between smoking and the given life event is no longer there. It may seem amazing to those of you just starting out on the journey but it really does happen!


Day by day, week by week, month by month and I’m sure year by year it does get better. It really does end! Much care is needed right now I know. I do heed the warnings of no man’s land but at the same time I’m enjoying the progression of my quit. I’m relishing in the fact that it really is getting easier. I’m beginning to believe that over time the world really is just as bright a place if not a brighter place without cigarettes.


So hang in there my friends! It may be a struggle at first but it really, really does get easier. It really does become a thing that can be placed on the back burner. It really is the wonderful life changing experience that we’ve always believed it would be.


And so I continue the climb up the beautiful slopes of Mt. Freedom and feel that the summit is so close. I feel like the hardest of the climb is past me and that I have attained the top of the final knife ridge that leads to the summit. I’m fixing ropes for you to follow if you desire for the path doesn’t have to be a mystery. The path doesn’t have to be any harder then we make it and most of all, I want to see all of you at the top, standing in the bright sunshine and breathing the thin air of freedom that tastes so sweet.


All you have to do is keep your eye on that summit and never forget why you started the climb. Never forget that with each faltering step we gain confidence. We gain momentum and in the end we really are finally free!

As I leave the 90 day mark since my quit behind me and move onward toward the century mark, I feel a kaleidoscope of feelings and realizations. First of all let me say to those just starting out on the road to freedom that I can now say from experience, the journey does get easier. The urges really do come less frequently and less intensely then at first though they still pop up from time to time.


But thinking back to a little over three months ago, I remember the days leading up to my quit date. The literal fear of quitting that permeated throughout my being as the quit day came ever closer to becoming a reality. I remember all of the reading I did leading up to that day, realizing that knowledge is power. That understanding my addiction would be a key that would soon unlock the door to my success. And I remember the last day of my active addiction when I woke with no fear in my heart. This was when I knew that my preparations all paid off. I knew right then that my mind had somehow made peace with what I was about to do. My mind, body and soul were in agreement that this would be the day that I smoked my last cigarette.


And I remember that last cigarette. I even had a little speech prepared for the moment when I put that thing out and began my journey as a nonsmoker. But in the end, there was no speech. There was no saying goodbye to an old friend. I think this was because my preparations told me that I really wasn’t losing a friend but instead was gaining my life back! I realized that a friend would never try to kill me. A friend would never try to enslave me. A friend would never take my money and waste it on so trivial a thing as cigarettes.


And so I went to bed, ready to face the internal conflict that the addict within had in store for me. I woke feeling refreshed and ready to do battle with myself. I knew that the first day, the one where there is really nothing to build on would be my hardest. There was indeed some difficulty but nothing near what I had anticipated. And once I had that first day under my belt and had something to build on, there was no turning back for me.


For those who don’t know me, I will say that I used the patch for the first two months of my quit. Could I have quit without it? I really don’t know. Perhaps. But I feel it’s very important to stick to the quit plan that we create. For me it felt like I had a good foundation to build on and as such I stuck to the elements of that foundation.


As the days passed, I created a character within myself that I call my internal addict. By creating this character, I was more easily able to understand what he was up to. I was able to formulate in my mind why he was doing these things and I was able to converse with myself in a fashion that might not have been so easy had I not created this character to simulate my actual addiction. In this way I understood my addiction for what it was. An addiction. A part of me that didn’t want to let go of my past. A piece of me that wanted to smoke and would send those urges out to my body. The ones that cause us so much discomfort at first.


Soon I got through that first month and now had months to build on. Since I live at the base of several of Colorado’s fourteen thousand foot mountains, I created Mt. Freedom in my minds eye. This was a way to see my progress as I continued on. It was a means of identifying rough spots in my quit and visualizing the constant uphill battle that we all must face at first. It showed me that even though I’d just been surprised by an unexpected urge or that even though I faced a day of surprise when my internal addict screamed at me, I could still turn around and see how far I’d come. I could still see the summit of this amazing mountain as a summit much closer then it was before. In some strange way, this gave me comfort. This put things a little more into perspective.


And so, using the tools that I started with and the ones that I have created for myself along the way, I find myself at a point in my quit where I feel fairly confident in the fact that I am a nonsmoker. I feel confident that I can beat back all the elements that my internal addict tries to throw at me. I can feel a confidence within me that can only come with experience.


Still, I know I must keep a close eye on that internal addict as I progress. I will not be blindsided by the urges that can come out of nowhere down the road. These are the ones that surprise us. The ones that take away our confidence in our quits if we’re not careful. But all in all, I’d have to say that the road to freedom is indeed becoming a reality for me.


I think the main point here is that it doesn’t matter what you have to do to achieve freedom. It doesn’t really matter how you go about it. What really matters is that in the end you can get past those first hard days and then those confusing months after that. We must walk our path one step at a time. It’s just a price that we must pay for freedom. We got ourselves into this mess and only we can get ourselves out of it. But whatever price we must pay for our freedom, to me it’s a price that’s well worth paying!


Now onward to the next month and the summit of Mt. Freedom!

As I continue on with my path to freedom I at times become baffled by many things. At times it’s hard to understand what’s going on inside when I’m in the middle of my quit. I find many ways to understand the internal conflict. I find many ways to deal with the fact that though I’m a nonsmoker, I still have a little ways to go. This becomes evident every time I get an urge, mainly because I know the urges are no longer a physical manifestation. It’s just something that I must fight within myself.

This is what makes support so important. If I simply wanted to understand the facts of quitting, I would go to a medical web site and look up the "facts that are related to quitting". If I didn’t already know that the best way to quit is simply not to put a cigarette in my mouth, then I never would have been able to quit in the first place. I mean really. There is more to quitting then just the science of it.

There’s also the emotional side. The part that can’t be jotted down in a medical journal or pasted to a bulletin board for all to see. This is what a support community is all about. Dealing with that part of quitting that cannot be written in stone. It’s about picking someone up when they fall and helping them back to the path that they really want to complete anyway.

It’s about dealing with the part of quitting that cannot be written in a book or rammed down the throat. The part that we cannot see. The part that lives inside of all of us. The part that is different for all of us.

It’s the individual experiences that we find here that make this site so great. As we continue to report our observations about our quit to each other, it helps all who are a part of the community including the one who is blogging. In some ways, it helps another to see things a little differently then they might have seen things before thus allowing them to continue on the path to freedom. There is no single good or bad comment so long as it relates to the task at hand which in this case is quitting an addiction.

There is no good or bad observation when we are trying to quit because the things that we learn might be beneficial to another even if the observation is not based on the science of quitting. If a community reaches the point where some will not blog because of fear of what their peers might think, then the power of support is diminished. The idea of a community of like minded people helping each other to achieve a common goal becomes a fallacy because so many who might have been helped simply slip through the cracks.

This is why I will always share my thoughts about how I feel, what I discover along the path to freedom and how I’m personally achieving my goal even if what I say is not based on science or the simple facts involved with quitting. After all, I already knew most of the facts. I simply came here to live this hell we call quitting smoking with others who are going through the same things.

The power of the many is here. It is real and it’s something that may indeed save many a life simply because we all care. We all feel the same things and we all share those things with each other, gaining momentum for ourselves as well as helping another to gain their momentum so that one day we can all say we did it. We did it together and we did it with a kind of compassion that can only come from a support web site.

It’s the science of quitting that we can read about but it’s the power of the many that can help others to achieve what might at first seem like an unachievable goal. And now I continue onward to my personal freedom. After all, it’s what I came here for . . .

As I approach ninety days since I quit, I can kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can see the summit of Mt. Freedom so clearly now. And what a beautiful summit it is, filled with the dazzling colors of success! Filled with the ever increasing vibrations of freedom.


Still, I walk upward, never doubting that I will reach the top. Sure there’s still the internal fight going on though it’s losing some of it’s power over me every day. Sure, I still must climb while dragging my internal addict kicking and screaming to the top. But the bottom line is that I’m still climbing and each step is another step toward freedom!


I can now attest for myself that the journey does get easier though we must always be careful for at any given time a memory that we don’t really want pops into our heads seemingly out of nowhere. A memory of smoking. You know, the one where you can see yourself in your past life sitting in a given situation and smoking that cigarette. The one where you can almost taste the nasty vile thing and yet the memory tells you that you enjoyed it. The memory tells you that you miss it. The memory tries to derail your progress with urges that are no longer physical but are still there. The urges that we remember from our past life as a smoker.


These things are something that must always be watched for but at the same time it’s important to remember that every time we embrace one of those memories. Every time we relive that moment, it’s taking us one step closer to the summit. It’s a process that must be completed before we can truly be free and it’s one that we must always be ready for so that we can use it to move on rather then be surprised by it and in this way be hindered from moving onward.


It’s our minds slowly releasing us from a past that is deeply ingrained within us. It’s our bodies understanding that we feel as we do because we no longer smoke. It’s us walking the path to freedom and never believing that it will be any other way so long as we hold true to our hearts and our promise to ourselves.


It’s important to remember that we really are doing an incredibly good thing for ourselves. We must never forget that in the wake of our commitment. Let the memories come and live them for a moment and then dismiss them just as quickly and soon the mind will have relived all that it must in order to free itself of the tentacles of addiction.


Freedom takes time my friends. Freedom takes commitment and in the end freedom requires a kind of love for life that we never felt before. It takes an understanding that this is the only way it can be. There is no other option!


But in the end, it’s worth all that we must endure. It’s worth the fight that we must make. It’s worth every step of the journey that we must take. So keep fighting! Together we WILL find freedom and this is a very good thing for who would ever want to experience true freedom alone? It’s just to wonderful a feeling to bottle up inside and never share with another. So I know I’ll always keep climbing. I’ll always keep my eye on that summit.


And when those crazy memories attack my brain I will smile with the knowledge that though it may create a slightly uncomfortable feeling right now, it’s manifestation is still taking me one step closer to final and total freedom!

Well, another week is almost over. Another week for me as a nonsmoker. I find it all to be interesting to say the least. Has it been easy? Not really, but it’s been a lot easier then I ever thought it would be. It’s been a journey that has both feelings of accomplishment and feelings of loss, even though many of the feelings are irrational to say the least.


It’s been a journey that forces one to look deep inside of oneself and find the little gems that live within all of us. Those gems that we use to propel us onward into our future free of nicotine. These are gems of life really because they are being used to do just that. Save a life.


It starts with a simple commitment to oneself. This is the first gem of life and it takes on a life of it’s own as we progress on our journey, creating new gems to help us fight our internal addict as he whispers words of death to us, the addict never realizing that death is indeed what he is whispering for you see, to the internal addict there is no wrong or right. There is no thought about a future or about a slow agonizing death.


I believe that this is because the addict lives only in the present. There is no thought of past mistakes or the future. All that matters to the internal addict is the now. Satisfying the needs of the now and never thinking about what our present situation might do to our future situation.


It’s just the way of addiction I think. It’s up to us to push that addict aside and teach our addictions that yes, there is a future and yes, we will think of that future. We will build that future starting with today and then the next day and the next.


Still, our addictions fight us with thoughts that over time become almost alien to us because of the new perception we have of ourselves. The more we realize that we care for our futures, the more the addicts whispers become harder to hear. But beware. There will always be those times when his whispers will once again form within our minds. This is when we really prove our commitment for we must once again fight that urge that has become a little more alien to us. We must look to our past and remember what gems we used to fight this addiction and bring them to bear on the situation so as not to slip.


So yes, though the battle is long and has many treacherous twists and turns along the way, it’s still a battle that can be won. It’s still a battle worth fighting and it’s still one of the most positive things we can do for our futures. When we think of quitting as hard it’s because we are only looking at the moment and forgetting the beauty that is our futures. We forget why we started the fight and we loose our momentum over time.


To me, a quit is like a flower that must be nurtured each and every day of it’s existence. And like a flower it offers rewards that aren’t always tangible though can be seen and felt. This in itself is reason enough to continue nurturing our quits. It’s reason enough to fight the internal addict and it’s reason enough to never ever give in to thoughts that only relate to the now.


So, whenever those pesky little whispers enter my mind, I will leave them as just a thought in the background as I look to my future free of my addiction. I will never give up on my future and will always remember the benefits of my quit rather then dwell on the discomfort of the present. I will use the memories of the past to always remind me of why I quit and I will never ever give in to the whispers that speak only of the present.


I love life and intend to live it in freedom!! 

Still cruising along on the path to freedom. Last night I had a dream about smoking. It’s not the first one I’ve ever had though it’s been a long time since I had one. And as always, it seemed so real!


I was with some friends when someone who I don’t even know in the real world handed me a cigarette. Last time I had a dream like this, I put the cigarette out, remembering that I had quit. This time however, I took four or five deep puffs off of the nasty thing and then realizing what I was doing, I put it out and had sudden thoughts about the fact that I had slipped. I was rather upset with myself and was just beginning to feel the area of the brain that represented my nicotine receptors sort of wake up. I felt a strange kind of calm begin to envelope my body as my mind felt the release of my commitment to be a nonsmoker.


As I began to wake the thoughts that went through my mind were not that I’d blown it. Not at all. The thoughts were simply that so long as I kept my commitment now. So long as I didn’t give in and change my life to one of a smoker then I still could find the path to freedom again. I still could continue my climb with one small detour.


And when I did wake, I felt nothing but relief that this was only a dream. That in reality I had not lost the path. I did not give in!


And then as I so often do, I began thinking about this dream and what it might have represented. To me a dream is a means for the subconscious mind, (the part of the mind that doesn’t really know right from wrong ) to sort out things while we sleep. To me the dream signified the addict within trying to grasp why it could no longer fuel the addiction. Why things had to be different then before. It was trying to grasp what would happen if I smoked again.


Of course the false memories of smoking told me that it somehow tasted good. That there was a deep kind of pleasure derived from the act of smoking. I felt the receptors wake up again and realized even in my dream that these receptors had begun to go dormant. They had lost the power they used to have. This I believe to be a reality. I think that those receptors have begun to calm. They have begun to shut down simply because there is no more need for them.


So to me this dream was a learning experience from myself. A chance to actually peer into the window of my mind and see the addict within for what he really is. To understand that though he will still fight me, he is trying to understand the new life. The reasons for wanting this new thing to happen.


But the bottom line is that it was just a dream and holds no power over me in the physical world. It was one of those memories surfacing in my mind and as such I know I have achieved another victory on the road to freedom. I have attained a new feeling of success simply by living yet another one of those memories of the past.


My nicotine receptors are still dormant and nothing has happened to weaken my quit. If anything, my resolve has strengthened simply because I have in a way lived what would happen if I were to slip. I have felt those emotions of failure and feelings of having to start over and have understood once again why I never will slip. Not even once!


And so I continue onward up the slopes of Mt. Freedom!!

The days just keep slipping by since the day that I chose to become one of the free ones. You know, the ones not chained to a demon that only wants to slowly sap away our life and at times even our belief in ourselves. The one that says there is no life without those cigarettes. The one who says that there will be no comfort for us if we choose to try to attain our freedom. The one who whispers those sweet little lies into our ears. The one who must be crushed in order to succeed!


Yes, it can seem like a long and endless battle at times. It can seem like we will never be completely free of our addictions. But I have to say that this is a fallacy. It’s just us adding extra drama to an already dramatic event in our lives. It’s true that it’s hard to quit this evil weed. It’s true that our minds are constantly fighting what we know is right. But really, it doesn’t have to be hard!


We just have to walk our path to freedom while holding our heads up high for we know that what we’re doing is a wonderful thing. We know that we’re taking our lives back! We know that we’re giving ourselves a chance to live a future that we might not have lived without taking this one step to change our lives forever. We know that we’re taking a journey of life. One that will change the very nature of our beings over time.


Yes, I’m feeling pretty good about my journey today. I’m feeling pretty secure in my quit and yet I know that I’m still in that dangerous place that many call no man’s land. That place where the demon that is our addiction will pop up at any time for this demon waits quietly until we are just a little to confident and then pounces on us with wild feelings and emotions that we never thought we’d feel again.


Still, I’m quite happy with my quit. I’m quite happy with my choice of life over a slow agonizing death. I’m happy that I’ve had the privilege to share this journey with all of you for together we can climb mountains that might not be so attainable alone. It’s not that misery loves company. No, not at all. It’s more that when we fight together. When we realize together the true nature of our addictions, we no longer feel alone. We no longer find our feelings to be something that no one else has ever felt. When we fight together, we feel a power that we might not feel when we fight alone.


It’s the power of truth and understanding. It’s the power of seeing what we’re going through simply because we can see this same thing in others. It’s the power of knowing that together we will win this war with ourselves. We will in the end be free!


So yes, I’m quite happy with my quit. I’m quite happy with the fact that I’ve made it 75 days. And though I know the journey is not quite over yet. Though I know that there will still be hard days ahead, I also know that I’ve already learned how to deal with those things. I already know what to expect. I already know the games that I play with myself except there is one difference. I now know how to WIN those games. I know how to tame my addict!


And so I continue on secure in the knowledge that the next time the addict tries to attack I will simply smile and use what always worked for me in the past. I will live the moment in happiness for I will know that the addict will not win.


And soon I will climb that 14,000 ft. peak which will symbolize the true Mt. Freedom because when I make this climb I’ll know that I might not have achieved it had I not changed my life once and for all!


Keep your eyes on the prize my friends!!

The climb continues! Indeed it’s a worthy goal to remain tobacco free. But one must wonder, if it truly is a worthy goal then why does it seem so darn hard at times? Why does it seem so endless? Do we ever really find our freedom? So many questions. We do have the elders to help us to believe that there is an end to our internal fight and that is indeed comforting but still, our internal war is something that each of us must live. It’s something that we must learn to understand for ourselves.

It’s something that must become a very part of our being before we can resolve our internal struggle. Thing is that it really isn’t that bad when we really think about it. Sure, there’s moments when we desire something that we cannot have or rather choose not to have. There’s days when the insidious addict within tries endlessly to attack us. To weaken our resolve.

But in this world that we have now chosen to live, this cannot happen. We just wont let it! We learn with every passing day that there are always good days after the bad ones. We learn with time that the bad days become fewer and farther in between as we progress on our journey. This in itself is something that we must keep close to our hearts for this is tangible proof of what the elders tell us. This is the reality that is our new lives and this one thing that happens to us shows us that it must get easier.

And so we walk onward, gaining strength and confidence with every step. We celebrate the milestones and use those milestones to enhance our beliefs that we are indeed becoming free. We use those milestones to show us what we’ve already achieved. We track our days that we are free of our addictions so that we can continue to build our confidence. So that we can remember what we’ve learned along the way.

It’s not a bad life really. Just a life in which we make changes within ourselves like we never have before. It’s a life of wonder and learning if we really think about it. And what we learn about ourselves right now during this internal battle are things that we can take with us to our futures. These are traits that we might never have experienced had we not chosen to save our own lives!

So really, this whole task of getting ourselves out of a mess we created for ourselves long ago is indeed a positive thing. It’s proof that we make mistakes but it’s also proof that we are willing to fix those mistakes. We’re willing to think of our futures rather then dwell on the past. It’s proof that we care about those we love and want to see them down the road. It’s proof that we care enough about ourselves to see this through no matter what!

So hang in there! Let’s get through these strange days together. Let’s fight our demons with the power of the many rather then fighting them alone. For every time one of us wins we all win. Every time we help another through a rough day, we also help ourselves for in order to help that person we must reach inside of ourselves to find an answer that helps and when we do this we often find an answer that we really need ourselves.

So let’s get out there and fight for our freedom! Let’s show ourselves that even on the worst days of our fight we are still invincible. Let’s stand together arm in arm and prove not only to ourselves but to each other that we are willing to fight for our freedom. That we’re willing to take what our internal addict throws at us and just shrug it off! Let’s prove to ourselves once and for all that freedom is more important to us then any discomfort it might bring for we are warriors in a way. We are a people who fights our addictions with a passion and commitment that cannot be turned away.

We are a people who never give up on ourselves so keep your eye on the prize! It’s just over the horizon and to me freedom is well worth the fight!

Onward to freedom!!

Seventy days. To be honest, when I first started this journey I never would’ve believed that I’d get this far. But that was before I actually quit. Before I made my life as a non smoker a reality. When all I could do was imagine what it would be like. When Mt. Freedom loomed off in the distance looking unbelievably gigantic!


And then when it was time to begin the ascent. When it was time to take that first cautious step onto an unknown path, I knew I was ready. I knew that this mountain and myself would become quite intimate with each other. What I didn’t know was that I would be dragging that internal addict kicking and screaming along with me. I was pretty sure that my addict would be hard to train and yet I never thought that he would be so sneaky. That he would try so many little tricks along the way.


This is why we climb together. To keep him close to me where I know what he’s up to. To keep him in the forefront of my thoughts and thereby weaken his power. Even though we are both one and the same person, it’s easier for me to battle him when I give him a little mind of his own. It’s easier to relate to the irrational thoughts that my own mind creates when I see it as a fight with myself.


I think we all reach inside of ourselves when we quit this horrible addiction. We have no choice because this is an internal battle that cannot be won until we find peace within ourselves. Until there are no tentacles of addiction left to rip out of our beings. And until that time we must always be careful. We must always be aware of that internal addict for if we loose sight of him for even a moment he may creep up on us and throw us a curve ball that we don’t need. He may take away our confidence and belief in ourselves.


Thankfully, I understand this part of myself very well and am learning more and more with each passing day that my addiction though ingrained very deep within me does not have the power to stop me. It doesn’t have the power to ruin my life. Only I possess this power. Only I can be the one who gives in. Only I can loose sight of my goal. Of my freedom.


And so I continue on, never questioning the fact that I will succeed for my belief in myself is also growing tentacles deep inside of me. Each day reinforces my belief that I will win. Each day fills me with a desire to reach that summit. To raise the banner of freedom high and shout down the slopes to all who will listen that soon we will all be standing here. For this is not a summit that is intended to be stood upon alone.


No, the summit of Mt. Freedom is a large summit with room for all who wish to raise that banner of freedom for themselves. It’s a summit that though hard to reach has rewards that will last us the rest of our lives!


This is how we get there. One step at a time. One urge at a time. One trigger at a time. And with each step we find that the slopes of Mt. Freedom though steep and unfamiliar become easier to navigate and more familiar. With each step we gain the confidence for the next step. We gain a belief that the summit really is just over the horizon. We gain the strength that we need to reach that summit and take the prize that is not only our freedom but our futures!


Onward my friends! I can’t wait to see all of you on that summit for it’s so much easier to climb with others then it is to climb alone. . .