Well, this is day 18 for me. As I mentioned in some earlier blogs, I had some urges the last couple of days. They were fairly easy to work through but they were there, kind of in the background of my thinking. But rather then dwell on the long road to freedom, I chose yesterday to remember the journey even though it's still only in the beginning.
I've learned that we can find some great lessons from our past experiences. Things that can be used now to strengthen the quit that we work so hard for. I always try to remember that first day when I made the decision to quit. The fear that ran through me. The beleif that it couldn't be done. I remember realizing right at that time that I was going to need some help if I were to succeed.
This was when I set myself up with a quit line and was offered patches to ease the journey a little. I also spoke to some very supportive people from that quit line. They understood my fear, something I never expected. From their web site, I found a link to this one. Sometimes something just clicks inside. Sometimes we discover that we now have what we really need. It's the understanding of what we're going through. The warnings of what to look for in the future so that our quit is not derailed. The knowledge of those who have been there. These are the things that can make or break a quit.
I remember building my game plan and reading all I could. I remember how that quit date loomed on the horizon, getting ever closer. And I remember that last cigarette before I started my new smoke free life. Funny thing is, I really didn't enjoy that last one. I didn't say "I'm going to miss you my friend." No, instead I said, "Good-bye my deceptive little friend. And I knew then that this was not a friend. Friends don't try to kill you. Friends don't enslave you. Friends care about your future where the cigarette does not. So, I didn't loose a friend at all.
Then came the first day and as many of you know, the first day is a lot easier then most of us imagine it to be. At least for me it was. Sure, there were a lot of urges and I felt a bit uncomfortable but got through it easily. In fact the whole week went easy.
I think what suprises us is that it doesn't end with the first week. No, this addiction took a long time to create and as such it would be unreasonable to assume that it will let us go quickly. We're always proud of our achievements the first week because we expected it to be hard but when it carries over to the second week, some of us can lose a bit of our comittment. We forget that the journey is longer then a week.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is we can't let our guards down ever. We can't expect the journey to end in a flash! It just sets us up for dissapointment down the road. And that's something we really don't need. What we need is the positive belief in ourselves and what we're doing. We need to learn to put those urges in the background of our minds rather then letting them reach the foreground. We need to accept the fact that those urges might be there for a long time to come and we need to learn how to deal with them.
In the end, it's all worth it. In the end we do find freedom. Freedom never comes easy. It's something that we have to be willing to fight for! And fight for it I will!
Now, on to day 18!!