I can't believe that it's day six of my quit already! I tend to celebrate each smoke free day in my life but there's something new to celebrate tomorrow. At 8:15 P.M. tomorrow, I can stop counting just days. I'll have the first WEEK under my belt! This is an moment that is important to me because I won't be counting just the days. I'll be counting weeks as well!
Yesterday was kind of a coast day for me because it was one of the easier days since my quit. It was a day when I was able to smell the smoke on other's breaths and wonder or rather know that this is what I smelled like before. BEFORE being the key word. Must be a lot of polite non smokers out there, cause no one ever told me that I stunk. Guess we have to discover this for ourselves in most cases!
I had a strange dream last night. I was putting a gigantic puzzle together all night long and every time I got close to finishing it, it grew bigger and more parts needed to be added. So I kept going, never wanting to give up on this puzzle. The room was huge and so was the puzzle. Soon I was walking on the puzzle table itself to place the pieces into it.
I kept thinking, "Is this thing ever going to end?" as I'd walk over to find the next piece and place it into the puzzle. For some reason I really wanted to see this thing completed. I woke up once and guess what? When I went back to sleep, there was the puzzle again! "Dang it! Guess I gotta finish it!" I thought to myself. And so it continued on.
I began working more frantically on the thing and never really got it put together. When I woke I seemed to know what the dream was all about. My addiction! The way I saw this dream was my mind once again working out the pieces of my addiction. It grew every time I got close to the end, strengthening my resolve to finish it. The closer I got to completion, the bigger it got.
I realized that the picture itself wasn't what was important. What was important was my resolve to work on it forever if need be. A task that may never really end but one that becomes easier over time. No matter how much I tried to fit the pieces, there really was no right way to do it for you see, the path to freedom takes resolve. The ability to continue on the path building on each piece until the picture is complete no matter what it takes or how long it takes.
In the end I think the pieces do fall into place eventually. And every step of the way the pieces do create that picture that we all long to see. You know, the one without cigarettes in it . . .
