Well, I finally had some pretty strong urges yesterday afternoon. Even using the patch the urges do come. I think this is because although the brain is still recieving nicotine, it doesn't get it in the large doses like a cigarette would give it. There's no peaks and valleys in the way it's delivered to the brain and as such, the urges can still be strong though not as strong as they would be when quitting cold turkey.
Still, even with the stronger urges I knew that they would pass and of course they did though they were more frequent then usual for me so far. A little discomfort for a short amount of time is well worth the benefits of quitting I think. I used it as a learning experience and practiced with something I used to do while smoking. Barbequing! While in the midst of one of these urges, I went out and cooked some burgers for everyone. I consider this to be positive reinforcement as I continue on the path.
To pasify myself, I carried a pen around for a while. Not really pretending to be smoking but rather just holding it in my hand. Keeping my fingers busy as I cooked. The bottom line is that I do know how to deal with these moments in my new life. To me, training for a quit and getting all the knowledge you can before quitting is a crucial part of success when quitting.
And then last night I had a dream where I was fixing up a friends house. There were lot's of people there and many of them asked me if I wanted to go have a cigarette. I would think to myself in the dream that it's about the right time and then would remember that I had quit. I would tell these people this and they would look at me and say "Really?" I almost always replied, "Yes, really."
Everywhere I went through this house, people would pop up smoking. Some came out of closets and some even appeared sticking their heads out of the crawl space. There were a bunch openings in this house. When I woke up, this dream cracked me up! I found it to be quite halarious. What was my mind trying to tell me?
I think it was telling me that it now understands that I'm serious about this quit. My brain was working out some final details within itself. I feel as strong as ever about my quit today. Everything that happens to me simply reinfoces my resolve. It strengthens me every time I shrug off an urge. I'm learning how to walk instead of crawl in my new smoke free world.
And I have no fear for I know I'm going to win this! Now, on to day four . . .
