Well, the day draws ever nearer and I still do not fear it. This is a day to prepare. To reflect on what my new life will be like. A day to see myself facing the challenges of everyday life smoke free. I started with something I haven't done since I first decided to quit. I haven't smoked in four hours. I've felt the urges come and go and each time this happens I've learned what might be my enemy in two days. But also, I've reinforced in my mind that I know how to cope with these urges. I'm turning my enemy into a thing I can understand and with understanding comes strength.
I know that even though I'm using the nicotine patch that the urges will still come and go. But the thing is that I have an understanding of them and I've practiced how to deal with them. This in itself takes a powerful weapon away from my addiction. This is my goal for today. To first understand the weapons that an addiction uses to keep us from our goal and second to know how to combat those internal weapons.
This is why I do not fear my new life. This is why I can instead find comfort in the fact that I won't be smoking. My path is clear. I know that I will follow it to the best of my abilities. This is the choice I've made for myself. No one made it for me and as such I shall be true to myself. Today I gain knowledge of my inner self. Today I reafirm my future.
I'm climbing that mountain right now. Gaining strength with each step that I take. Flowing above the clouds and into the sunshine of my smoke free future. There's a rainbow at the top of that mountain and at it's base is the pot of gold, filled with my future. It's filled with life and it's filled with love for you see, by climbing this particular mountain I am insuring that I will see all that I love for just a little longer. And I'm proving one important thing to myself. I LOVE LIFE! I LOVE HEALTH! And soon I'll be flying off that mountain like a bird, free of an addiction that I don't need.
Ah. Another urge has just passed, proving to me once again that though it must be one step at a time, each step gets me closer to my freedom. . .