Yes, I'm on the dreaded day four. I am having cravings, and also smokemares every night. Last night I dreamt I was in prison. There were no cigarettes, and I thought good, at least my quit is safe. I am pledging every day and honouring that pledge. I have no rescue or emergency cigarettes. I don't need gas, so there will be no going to the gas station to tempt me. I have been isolating for over two weeks due to a sore throat. I'm on antibiotics but they don't seem to be working. Next thing to do is get a COVID test if I finish them and I'm not better. Every morning I get up and come to EX, and then I go sit out on the deck, and pray for strength, and for god to help me get through my last quit.
I go through my daily prayer list for others too. I realize I am very fortunate, not to be in any life threatening instances like those in California, Louisiana, or Texas. I know I can make good, as long as I have the desire to do this. I know it get's better along the way too. I guess before I just gave myself excuse after excuse. I guess I didn't want to do the work. Now I want to do the work to make it through. There is a difference.
