Getting there with my routine, I wake up get pills for myself. Feed and water Ruby. Get my coffee and water.
Then answer e-mails and come to EX. My hardest time remains in the morning. It's as hard to change my morning routine, as it is to stop smoking. Going on to the weekend. Friday I woke up lost again, but moved through the day. I hate to say I miss my cigs so much. Had anxiety yesterday but made it through it. Yesterday was a good day, with company of my parents in the morning, and my daughter and her husband over later and they brought supper.
Tomorrow I meet two friends for lunch. I have anxiety about that too. Why? It should be a good time, they don't smoke either. Will have to talk to my Dr. about this when he calls me later in August. I just want to be free to come and go, and be more confident when making plans to go out. In later years I was always a closet smoker. Never smoking in front of company or in the house. I can make this happen. COVID has done a number on me, by keeping me at home, and actually I'm quite happy to go through it. Gives me an excuse not to go out and face my anxiety about going out. Smoking doesn't solve anything. The only way out is through. I just wish I could get myself moving more.
Sorry rambling here. Do I make sense? Not sure. Not smoking over it.
