I live my life for others, as we all do. I am beginning to value my alone time, and I'm not so stressed out right now. I realize that my quit comes with depression, but I am here, to challenge each day. Today was a very good day, and so was yesterday. No depression. I have my cat Ruby Tuesday, and the others in my life. You know the family members, and friends. I have only ever ended two friendships in my life. The girl that started me smoking, and the girl, that just couldn't see all the good things in life, or what I had to offer. I lashed out at her, in my grief and pain, but she was toxic, to me. Still I want her back, I'm not the one who ends friendships easily. I miss her. It's the same thing with the cigarettes, altho, they helped me cope, My ex-friend Linda helped me cope, when I needed her. It was a self defeating relationship tho. I am just putting it out there, I did something I felt I had to do, after all the critisisim, but I think she was actually, meaning well. I want to call her. I pray she is ok. You know, when someone gives you tough love, and puts your face on it, well, I don't take tough love very, well, and she was giving it to me all the time, while denying her shopping addiction, but I never pointed that out to her. It is what it is, I want to make amends, but I'm not sure she is willing or able. I don't want to set myself up for yet another rejection. Ok, sorry just rambling here.
Signing off, I WILL keep my quit!! Chrissie, keeping it real.
