I wake up and the house is quiet, except for Ruby wanting her food. I feel depression pulling me down, but I still go on forcing myself to go on and do things to keep the house going and feed myself too. I need to change my life completely but I don't know how, and just feel overwhelmed with everything. Anyway, I will somehow pull myself out of this rut that I've been in since Brian died. I need to reset my gadget, I think I broke it Mark can you help me with that? The only one that can do this is me. I'm so sad to face my inabilities and I'm sure you are fed up with me.
I have never felt so ugly inside. In two weeks I see my therapist and next time I won't leave it so long. I tell you smoking just makes you feel worse about yourself. I don't know if I have the guts to post this or not. I will dig in once again and make it through the day smokefree.