Christine13

Mother's Day.........the true story!

Blog Post created by Christine13 on May 13, 2019

Mother's are not perfect!  I grew up in a very dysfunctional family with 4 brothers and sisters.  I was the baby of the family for 8 years.  My mom beat my butt with a black leather belt.  She washed my mouth out with palmolive soap, until it made me gag.  Beat me with her fists one night after I was in bed, and asleep, because I didn't do a good job hanging my sox up on the line in the basement.  She pulled my hair almost out by the roots, and spanked me with the wooden spoon. She  slapped me across the face on "general principals" she said.  I told her one day, she couldn't hit me anymore, or I would sig social servises on her for abuse,  My abuse ended,  I got rid of her leather belt strap one day on the way to school because she was going to use it on my baby sister of 8 years.  We all try to forget those days, and I try to remember the days, she baked 13 loaves of bread, to feed us all through the week, and she spent many hours at the sewing machine crafting beautiful new clothes for us.  My Mom was unbalanced, overworked, because in addition to us five kids she also worked part time and took care of her aging parents.  For whatever it's worth, my Mom loved us all.  She was the baby in her family of eight.  My parents worked hard to put bread on the table and clothes on our backs!  I did and do honour my Mom's teachings, and she was in the years of spare the rod and spoil the child.

She grew up mennonite, where, they would never tell there kids they loved them or tell them they were proud of them.

Yup it's a bittersweet day.  My Mom acknowledes what kind of a Mom she was to us, and said if she did that now she would be in jail.  Different times, when they raised us back then.  Spare the rod and streghten up or otherwise, I will pound you into the ground with my iron fist.  Not all Mom's were perfect, thank god I had lots of therapy to come out of that abuse, and can now also see that she did love, in her own way.  Just way to much pressure to be perfect, and a lack of guidance from their strict mennonite parents.  I honoured my Mom today, took her and my Dad out to a steak house today.  I now know the cause of my mental illness - my Mom.  So many things to work through for so many years in therapy, and so many drugs. Somehow I ended up in survival mode for the rest of my life.  I'm not blaming her, and my two daughters also forgave me my transgressions.  They both did show me love this week, and honoured me in the best possible ways.

We can never go back to those dark days, but keep on trucking here and now and give back to our kids or furbabies, Collen, Barbscloud and Young at Heart.  I hear you all.

My Mom wasn't any saint, but by god my mother-in-law was, and I always took her lead and found my example of what a good Mom really was.  I remember her coming to cover Brian and me up in our bed on a cold chilly night at the cottage.  That was love shown, even after we were grown.  I am so glad to have known her.  She was a very, kind gentle soul, who spoiled her sons, and daughter-in-laws, and grandchildren, with home cooking and baking, and beautiful crocheted sweaters and mitts for the kids.  She was always the Mom I wanted to be and strove to be for my kids.  Selma Lillian Menzies I pay tribute to you today!!  You spoiled us all, and even tho your gone, I still feel it today.  You never ever gave up on me, you showed me the way.  Love you Selma today and always!!  xoxo Chris

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