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All People > Christine13 > Christine13 Blog > 2018 > July

Last week was a high anxiety week for me, Today I am calm and happy, and I begin my quit again.  I have no more excuses left not to do this, and now I really feel like I can handle just about anything that comes my way.

I will start using my anti-anxiety meds if I get that way again.  I'm feeling my way around it.  I have been here reading and commenting on blogs, and plan to blog,blog,blog.  


All within 12 hours.

Posted by Christine13 Jul 15, 2018

Well, it was quite the Saturday I had.  Youngest daughter's fur baby Luna had her surgery yesterday.  The vet said one of her legs didn't rotate like it should, but she should still be able to walk better.  Now the recovery begins.

Oldest daughter was here to visit and said she and her husband were splitting and herself, her son, and her dog would be moving in with me.  She also said she'd need to use my car to get to and fro from work.  Don't get me wrong, I have always kept the house just so if one of my girls needed a place to stay they would be welcome.  Only problem is my oldest can be very difficult to live with.  Anyway, she was going to move in on Wednesday.  She went home, and then texted me, Mom don't clean out those bedrooms yet, we are going to go to counseling.  I was so relieved to hear that they will try and work it out.  I am now used to living alone and it would be a big adjustment if they moved in.  Plus she said she wouldn't be able to contribute to expenses here like  pay any rent or anything else.  I know this is selfish, but I need this time to myself to focus on my quit.  I love my daughter dearly, just don't know if I could handle it right now, while still grieving for Brian.  We will see what happens here, I really hope they can work things out, I love her husband too, and I think he is a good guy.  They are almost together 17 years, it would be a shame to throw it all away because of a few differences.

It just goes to show you what a difference 12 hours can make.  I thought about throwing away my quit too Annette,

but it's not really a productive way of handling things.  Ughhh, I hate stress too!!!  The craves were coming fast and furious, I didn't know if I could hold out.

I've been craving all morning, junkie thinking too, my head says you know it's an impossible situation, you can't handle it!  To that I say, just watch me!!  Today I up my Chantix to 2 mg.  I hope it helps me, but I must fight to stay quit.

An urgent request from youngest daughter lives in San Jose, California.  They are being evacuated due to  forest fire down the street.  They have a sick dog who needs surgery, and right now my daughter is there alone while her husband rushes home from work.  Please pray for their families safety!!  I am petrified at this moment.  Cherie, my daughter is trying to pack important papers, I won't know until later if they got out or if they are safe, or where they will go!!!  She says she has an emergency pack to take.  Luna their dog is really ill and needs surgery within the next week.

I am really concerned for their safety.  I'm anxious as any mother would be.  Please say a prayer for them or send positive vibes their way!!  Yesterday it was just the $10,000.00 for Luna's surgery that was on the line, now it is there safety and future.

Love you all.  


Someone pointed out to me today that cigarettes are my abuser.  Well, I'm ready to be free today!

I've been taking the Chantix, and I feel it will help me with this.  I have been following instructions to the letter, and even tho I had some problems in the beginning with bad side effects I am willing to keep going.  Today I will get my quit kit together with straws and cinnamon sticks, and I have carrots and celery to munch on, I will also get some liqorish as a treat.  Today I also find out if my daughter has to put down her dog Luna.  She has splayed legs, and if it's not possibly to do surgery then she won't be able to support her weight anymore, she weighs 90 lbs. and she is only six months old.  I pray for the best outcome for her and my daughter loves her so much.  She is a Great Dane and if she comes through this and grows up she will weigh 140 lbs.  Anyway, this just happens to co-inside with my quit date.  

I will keep trying to de-stress by using breathing and Yoga and by keeping busy.  I am waiting for her call.

I am ready to get on with my quit no matter what happens today!


Have started Chantix

Posted by Christine13 Jul 6, 2018

Hi, it's been a while since I've written.  I started Chantix on July 4th.  I have been trying the same method for years, and either I wasn't working it, or I just found it too hard.  I'm hoping Chantix will help me to stay quit.  The first day on it, I was like, wheee woooo all day.  My quit day is July 10th.  I've been sick since Father's Day, and had blood tests done on Tuesday, I am starting to feel a bit better.  I have read Allen Carr's book, over again.  Any one else find Chantix helped them to finally quit for good?

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