I'm back at day one. I am feeling really discouraged here. I keep going back to smoking. I have been in so very much denial about what smoking is doing to me. However, I am DETERMINED to do this now. I am using the patch and will use a nic lozenge to help me. I have learned better how to handle my stress, but why do I keep looking for something to comfort me like smoking? I have a package and a half of cigarettes left. I will pour water over them and squish them up. I WANT to DO the WORK now. I want to be here everyday, and blog more often about how I feel.
I have a lot going on in my life living under so much stress on a daily basis. I KNOW smoking only makes the stress worse, because then when I blow it I feel even more depressed. I will be checking in with my therapist on Tuesday.
That should help. Everyone here has been so good to me, to put up with me all these years. I can honestly say I have about 3 years quit if I add up all my quit days. That's just the point, it's not quitting if you keep relapsing. I want to go with Not One Puff EVER!!!!
I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the woman I see, she has wrinkles and circles under her eyes, and her complexion is awful too! All do to smoking! Some how, some way, I am going to buckle down and get real about what this addiction has done to me.
I can't just hope to stay quit, I must face the withdrawals, and use my coping techniques to get through this.
Discouraged yes, very, DETERMINED NOW To MAKE IT!!!!
xoxo
