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2016
Christine13

Great News!!

Posted by Christine13 Oct 25, 2016

Some great news yesterday!!!  When I got home from taking hubs across the city for blood test, after I brought him home, found out they moved up his appointment with Cancercare  from next Monday to yesterday.  No bone marrow transplant, or chemo, but found out Brian has MILD  Mydeloplatic Syndrome.  He has another 2-3 years left!!!  We thought he had six months maybe.  He will be going on a very expensive drug which will pretty much be covered by insurance to get rid of the excess iron in his blood which can cause heart failure if left too long.  He will wear a pump which will infuse the medication over a 24 hour period for 5 days each week.  But OH MY GOD, prayers have been answered, we have another 3 years!!!  More time for family and friends!!  More time to make memories and bask in each other's love.  We will make 46 years married then.  This is a huge relief for me, and makes me want to LIVE longer!!!  There is absolutely NO EXCUSE to smoke!!!  I did a little dance this morning - Brian laughed.  I said now I don't have to be so nice to you and laughed wickedly.  (just kidding, I'm always nice)  Today I am getting in some sweets to celebrate!!!  Transfusion on Thursday, and then he will be feeling good again, and we will go out to our favourite restaurant and celebrate more!!

Just thought I'd share our fabulous news.  I love you all, and love him with all my heart!!!

Christine13

Feeling Positive!

Posted by Christine13 Oct 24, 2016

Good Morning!  Just wanted to let you know I am having a happy positive day.  After being down with a bad cough and cold for 4 days, I'm beginning to feel better!  I took hubby for a long car ride across the city this morning so he could have his blood checked.  Hopefully a transfusion tomorrow or Wednesday.  I am going to enjoy the rest of today smokefree of course.  I have the energy to go for a walk today, and will do some stress relieving Yoga.  I feel like it's all coming together.  I want to stay quit more than I want to smoke.  In other words I want to live more than I want to die.  Somehow before I don't really think I felt worthy of a forever quit, always going back to my old comfort in smoking to sooth away my problems.  They didn't solve anything, didn't change anything.  Brian is still ill and I have to cope with it on different a different level.  We meet with cancer care next Monday regarding if they will do a bone marrow transplant or just chemo to lengthen his life. This is a difficult time for sure but if I can make it through this I can make it through anything.  So for today, I'm focusing on staying quit, and living in the moment.  Thanks to everyone who has supported me throughout this and our journey.

Christine13

Tomorrow

Posted by Christine13 Oct 2, 2016

Have butterflies in my stomach about my husband's surgery tomorrow.  His blood is really down and he will have to have surgery like that because they can't fit him in for a transfusion until Wednesday.  He is dragging now.

Hopefully it will go well, and I will feel calmer tomorrow after I get him home.  I will have to take him in a cab so a bit worried about him being dopey afterwards.  It's day surgery, will take 4 or 5 hours at the hospital.  Anyway, I've been anxious about it all weekend.  It will be good to have it overwith tomorrow.  I will do a lot of deep breathing.  It's good to know I won't have to worry about going out to have a smoke.  Just another step, one step at a time, one day at a time.  I will enjoy the day today and try and be mindful and give it up to God.

Smoking won't make the anxiety go away, it would probably only make it worse.  It doesn't solve anything, never did, never will, now if I can just convince myself of that, all would be ok.  My inner junkie wants me to smoke and keeps telling me I need it.  I don't need it - I must stay strong!

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