I am trying to re-define myself after working part-time, and raising a family. Heck I'm trying to re-define my life after Brian. I had a dream last night, he cheated in the dream, and I woke up jealous. We were apartment sitting for a lawyer and her friend. She gave me $10.oo, and an ashtray that said in it My Friend. I loved that ashtray, and then Brian was buying a carton of cigarettes, and I said I don't want to do that anymore! I don't want to! I am not going to!
I guess my subconsious was telling me that I viewed cigarettes as my friend, cause I loved that ashtray!! They are not friends of mine!! Not at all!!! It was an old comfort, and I'm learning new things here, to delay and distract.
It's all about learning and applying it. I think I must have some kind of learning disability because I never GOT it in my brain, that cigarettes are not friends!! They are not, and I'm learning to deal with life every day, and not use any excuses for myself............ahhh, it's all finally sinking in now, walk and deep breathe, and just get refocused. I don't have anyone here anymore, but I am still striving for the perfect quit. xoxo Chrissie, keeping it real.