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Christine13 Blog

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Christine13

I just don't know.

Posted by Christine13 Feb 16, 2019

I am struggling along here.  I woke up this morning I was so extremely depressed.  I did get a call from my Dad and they want me to go out to dinner.  I am so grateful to have them in my life still.  I will try to get myself over this.  I will call my councillor next week for help.  

Christine13

I'm home!

Posted by Christine13 Feb 5, 2019

Dad's home, he was discharged last night!  I'm home too Horray!!!  Now I am craving that stupid reward cigarette.

I wish quitting were easy but it's not an easy road.  Thank you all for the prayers, you were all wonderful.

Christine13

Update on my dad

Posted by Christine13 Feb 3, 2019

Dad is starting to do a lot better!

they are working on his mobility.  Yesterday he walked down the hall and carried his walker.  Mom is hanging in there too and I am staying with her. The quit is intact.  I was home overnight last night and it was wonderful.  Got brave and brought the car over here this morning. My nephew was driving us to the hospital because roads were icy.  I am thanking. All you at ex for the wonderful prayers they are working.  Will be back when I can.  Xo chris

Christine13

This last week.

Posted by Christine13 Jan 27, 2019

Last Sunday the car wouldn't start.  Had new battery put in.  Then Brian's chairlift starting beeping and wouldn't stop. Had it repaired. Then the toilet broke. Had it fixed 2x.  Now I'm locked out of my phone.  Hopefully get that fixed today.

Dad was in ER on Thursday, he thought he was having a heart attack, but they gave him meds.  Got him home and he fell by the car.  Got him up, he was ok, thank god.  Weak, he hasn't been eating.  Finally yesterday he ate an egg and a piece of toast.  Girlfriends having surgery for breast cancer and friend next door hiatal hernia.  She's sick too.

Car goes into shop Tuesday.  I've had quite enough, lol, Calgon take me away!!  Sometimes when it rains it pours.

I am getting though it.  If one more thing breaks here, I'm going to yell and pound a pillow.  NO smoking tho, my nerves are shot!!

 

Now the positive side of this.

 

Dad fell but he is ok.

He's starting to eat again.

car has a new battery

stairlift too

I didn't smoke.

toilet is fixed

cell should be fixed today.

 

This too shall pass.

Christine13

A better day.

Posted by Christine13 Jan 23, 2019

Increased my anti-depressants today, and will be using anti anxiety meds to help me with my quit, it's helping all ready!!  My Dad goes for his scan on Friday.  Keeping fingers crossed that he will be ok soon.

 

No craves right now.  I am so calm!!

 

Love the feeling.

 

xo

Christine13

Was a good day!!

Posted by Christine13 Jan 18, 2019

Got out this morning in -37 degree weather, to do my groceries, and I had company this afternoon too, an old friend came over for coffee.  He turns 65 tomorrow.  He thinks 70 is old, not so, but his Mom died when  she was 69, and his dad of a heart attack when he was 44 years old.  Anyway, getting to the good stuff, my Dad finally felt better today, and I am so relieved.  It's all up to God at this point.  He's 90, Mom 89.  I offered to pack a bag and go stay with them last night.  Just running scared here. So many people with health issues and I care about them all so much!!!  Nothing I can do but pray to God. I am not smoking over it.  It's taken me all week to be ok.  I'm finally ok.

Christine13

So I was..........

Posted by Christine13 Jan 16, 2019

So I was trying to figure out why I was so off the last couple of days.  Cleaned out some of Brian's drawer's on Monday, it all caught up with me today.  Talked to smoker's help line today too.  Finally grieved today.  Don't feel crazy anymore.  I took extra medication last night too, and had a hot soak in the tub.  I am quit, and am going to keep if.

  Thank's Ellen and Marilyn for talking me through it.  His Birthday was Jan. 25th.  My grandson's is the 24th, he will be 15 years old.  So I have that to celebrate!! xoxo

Christine13

Prayers Please

Posted by Christine13 Jan 14, 2019

Please pray for my 90 yr. old Dad.  He has blocked arteries, and his blood pressure is all over the map.

i'm stressing, after Jan. 24th I will be the only one here to take care of them.  Scan, Feb. 4th or 5th.

Christine13

Best Vacation Ever!!

Posted by Christine13 Jan 3, 2019

I have today and tomorrow left at my daughter's house here in San Jose, California.  It has been a whirlwind trip, with wine tastings and tours, going to San Francisco, and the rain forest amazing!  A New Year's Eve party with another family.  The best part of it is that I haven't smoked.  I will return home on Saturday.  Weather here has been beautifully sunny and like fall temps back home.  We even went to Saucalito over the golden gate bridge and did a boat tour past Angel Island, and Alcatraz.  We did Fisherman's wharf too, and had lunch at a fancy restaurant on the ocean in Sosalito. (sorry can't spell)  I must be extra careful to keep stacking up days quit when I return to Winnipeg.  I am glad to say I've been too busy to think of smoking.  Love you guys!! xo

Christine13

Trip Day!

Posted by Christine13 Dec 27, 2018

I will be leaving for the airport in 3 hours and 45 minutes.  We had 5 - 10 cm of snow today.  Hope the trip goes well.

Will try to check in while I'm gone.  San Jose - here I come!  

Getting super worried about Ellen, any updates?  My continued prayers for her.

Christine13

Taking some "me" time.

Posted by Christine13 Dec 22, 2018

Taking some me time today.  Totally relaxing before Christmas and my trip.  I am excited that I will be flying far away from Winnipeg this Thursday.  I'm going to enjoy reading, and word search and journalling on my long trip.

I have calmed right down, I'm excited to be going tho.  Today is day one of my quit.  I will not be smoking before or after I get back.  I can do this!!  Yesterday was a sad day, miss Brian, but I'm ok.  I am strong, and can finally break this smoking addiction too.

Christine13

I'm ok -- really?

Posted by Christine13 Nov 29, 2018

All my stress and anxiety today about going and trying to drive after 4-5 inches of snow here in winnipeg.

I HAVE to get to my sister's tonight to celebrate my Mom's 89th Birthday.  Tried to pre-arrange a cab for tonight, but as usual when I want to take a cab things are super busy in the city and I may not be able to get one. May have to white knuckle it and suck it up and drive tonight.  I'm scared!!  I know I won't smoke.  Really all this anxiety about going out for a fun night. Ok, Chris, put on your big girl panties and face your F.E.A.R.

Christine13

Nothing Better!!

Posted by Christine13 Nov 24, 2018

Nothing better than 10 days smoke free!!  I am learning to face my fears here, and there are many.  I can do all things through God who strengthens me!! I keep going by delaying, delaying, and getting through the day.  I am actually having a mello relaxing day here!!  It's all good.  I fall down, I pick myself up and keep going - because I have no choice there!

Christine13

ok, so what's missing

Posted by Christine13 Nov 20, 2018

It's not my smokes, I am grateful to say.  I had a hair stylist appointment today, and i think I like the cut and colour.

Hadn't been there since last February, so I think I deserved the treat.  I came home, ordinarily it would be a date night with Brian and he would give me the critique on my hair and then he would take me out for dinner.  I came home to an empty house today, but all was okay,

because he is where he needs to be, and so am I.  I did not miss lighting up and swallowing my feelings and dignity.

Tomorrow smoker's help line will call, and I'll be able to say I did NOT buy cigarettes.  It's all a series of firsts,without him, and my smokes. and my biggest reason now to stay smoke free is it stinks!!  I don't want to stink anymore.  I am working on day 7 today.

I actually want this to work now.