130 Days...

[Bonnie]

And if I'm supposed to be out of No Man's Land...it's just not true for me...I want to smoke...oh...not really...I want to do SOMETHING!  I am so frustrated with my life right now...yeah, I can do the gratitude gig, and I AM grateful, but honestly I am MORE restless and frustrated and so feeling that I am NOT where I'm "supposed" to be. Not asking for advice, just sayin' I do believe I'll be wandering around in the desert for awhile.  I'm going to reward myself after work tomorrow (I know I'll be totally fried because my workplace is a friggin' zoo, not because of the peeps but because of the new "business model" and the expectations on new and old employees alike and everybody is so stressed, I can feel it when I walk in the door..oh my, what a mess)...let's see, I was going to go for a swim but it's supposed to rain?  Who knows...I'll think of something that doesn't cost $$$...

Meanwhile, I thought of this prayer from my 12-step days...it was my favorite and it came to mind on the drive to work.

You can't be "calm, serene and gentle" when you're sucking on a cancer-stick...you may THINK a cig makes you that way, but it doesn't.  I have an image somewhere and the words on it say "Happy People Don't Smoke"...I'll find it one of these days but meanwhile I need to get to sleep.

Thanks for being here...my life might be a conundrum right now (actually it's been that way for way too long), but at least it's a SMOKEFREE conundrum these days...and that, in itself, is an improvement.