I have been cigarette free for 4 days now. I am viewing myself as a non-smoker. That means I don't have to worry about or manipulate any circumstances in order to provide for myself a private break to smoke a cigarrette. I can socialize with family more and I can participate in more church sponsored events. Since I was a closet smoker, these situations never allowed for "secret break times"so I shied away from some things. I can now stay in any hotel, not just ones that offer smoking rooms. I can enjoy an airport and not spend time desperately trying to find out where smoking is allowed and do I have enough time to go there and then get through security.
I always worked out at the gym and at home, but the irony of being a trim and healthy fifty-something always caused me guilt because of my smoking and what it was doing to my health. A workout at the gym sandwiched between two cigarette breaks just isn't right! I didn't feel that guilt this week. I am healthy and, Lord willing, will now stay healthy and active.
I almost think I am less stressed by not smoking. I think I would stress about situations and try to plan when and where I might have a cigarette in private. I don't think about that now. I just go about my tasks, either at work or at home, and just try to enjoy my time. When those cravings start playing mind games with me, I put my distractions into play. That means I'm popping jelly bellies or grapes. Or I relax and read or do something physical.
I am looking forward to the time when even thinking about smoking becomes a non-issue. I'm not deluding myself into thinking that it will be gone forever. But I'm praying it becomes less prominent in my thoughts.
So, to all those trying or anticipating trying, check out everything offered on this website. The support and great and the readings have been really helpful. Get your mind totally convinced that, YES, you want to be a non-smoker. Do some homework and be prepared for the journey. Then take your walk, one foot in front of the other until your destination has been reached!
April Dancer
