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Alyssadone Blog

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The first time I quit, I blogged almost daily to keep myself on track.  I need to start doing this again so this is my 2nd blog after a relapse (3.5 years).  I am ready to go back to my healthy way of life and excited to start this journey again with everyone here.  I am not ashamed anymore that I made a mistake, but need to stop with the excuses of why I can have one or two because I am not a person that does well with moderation!  I'm 14 months sober (alcohol) and I think maybe that is why I went back, so I can do something that is bad.  AA meetings have fewer smokers than I thought, but somehow I crept back into that habit during a meeting.  Just one, I told myself, no big deal.  Well I should have played the tape all the way through because now I went from never thinking about smoking to thinking about it daily.  I am taking this as a lesson on what could happen if I also pick up a drink.  

I quit 11/29/2015 knowing I was going to need a total right hip replacement in 2017 at almost 37 years old.  My surgery is 2/15/2017 and I could not be happier that I am smoke free.  I still have this damn 20 lbs that is a ***** to get off  BUT my surgeon says 20 lbs more is 100% better than being a smoker. recovery time will be much better than if I was a smoker.  I am looking forward to the surgery and not only enjoy being smoke free every day, I will hopefully be pain free as well.  I am looking forward to my life after my surgery and excited for what's to come.   I now have new goals to set for myself and quitting smoking does not have to be one!! Looking forward to hitting 500 days smoke free.  I NEVER thought I would be here!!     Thank you to everyone for the support through these times, this site is a blessing!! 

Alyssadone

Alyssadone Archived Profile

Posted by Alyssadone Jan 23, 2017

Description

 

I am 35 and have been smoking for about 20 years now (WOW).  I recently found out I have severe arthritis in my right hip and my left is not far behind.  I have always been athletic but now I am feeling the effects of smoking and seeing what it has been doing to my body.  I want to be able to workout without being short of breathe and also to help with my arthritis. 


Brief Description

No brief description in profile.


Website

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Location

macomb, mi


Interests

bike riding, working out, reading, working on my new condo


Skills

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I made it!! I cannot believe it. I am so proud and excited for today! I am so thankful to this website and everyone that kept me motivated.  It was the hardest and best thing I have ever done.  Anyone that is in the beginning of their quit, DO NOT GIVE UP! I feel so much better as an ex-smoker than being held prisoner by cigarettes. I would also suggest blogging not for anyone else but for you. It's very cool to go back and read what I was feeling during my quit and it just shows me how strong I have become.  Also, quitting smoking has changed my life in other areas.  I want to live a healthier lifestyle altogether.   I eat better, make better decisions, stopped drinking alcohol, and surround myself with positive people!  Thank you so much and I love reading blogs of positive people that are years into their quit and also the newbies sharing their success!! Have a GREAT NON-SMOKE DAY!!! 

Alyssadone

Day 271

Posted by Alyssadone Aug 27, 2016

So the past 3 days I have had very VIVID smoking dreams. Not sure why all of a sudden this is happening. In my dreams I am enjoying the cigarette at but, then I feel this HUGE sense of disappointment in myself (still dreaming).  When I wake up, I have mixed feelings.  I am bummed I did not get to enjoy the cigarette and the fake party I was having so much fun at but, I am also very happy I did not smoke and I am still smokefree.  Not sure why this is happening so much this week but the sense of relief I feel when I wake up and realize I did not smoke gives me that extra boost to keep going. Otherwise that feeling of disappoinment in my dream will become real and that is not a feeling I want to have.  Happy Saturday everyone!! N.O.P.E. 

Alyssadone

Day 248

Posted by Alyssadone Aug 4, 2016

I have not been on in a month or so but I am still going strong at Day 248.  I got a promotion at work and with the stress that came with it, I was close to smoking but then remembered that smoking actually increases my stress. I am finally feeling the effects of quitting.  I bike ride and have increased my MPH from 11 to 14.3!! And it feels GREAT when I inhale during my workout and can take a HUGE breath in, it feels amazing.  I was one of those smokers that never felt that smoking was affecting me but now looking back it really was.  I am still 30 lbs heavier and am bummed about that but if I'm 30 lbs heavier the first year, I know I can slowly take that off by being able to workout more efficiently!! Just wanted to stop in and say this site still helps me and thanks to Shawn for continuing to check in, that means so much to me!!! Hope everyone is having a great smokefree week and keep on pushing!!  

Alyssadone

I did it!!

Posted by Alyssadone May 16, 2016

I went an entire week on vacation and did not smoke!! I am so happy and proud.  I ate about 6 FULL bags of salt and vinegar chips but I did it! I drove 12 hours there and back WITH a smoker and I did it!!! I did it! I did it!! I am so happy and I swear if you are new to quitting stay strong.  Out of all my friends I was the heaviest smoker by far (1 to 1 1/2 packs a day easy) and I promise you it gets easier.  It may seem so hard but I had cravings for sure but they go away in less than 2-3 minutes and the longer you quit the less those cravings come up.  I drank on vacation too and was worried but that's where the bags of chips came in and they tasted MUCH better than those NASTY cigarettes.  I do not think I have ever been more proud of myself, I literally cried when I got home Sunday because I was so proud!! It's so worth that feeling! N.O.P.E.  Thanks again to everyone for all the support and my 6 month mark is coming up and I am so excited. 

Alyssadone

Vacation time

Posted by Alyssadone May 4, 2016

So I am headed to my first vacation in North Carolina Friday as an ex-smoker.  My worries are gone because I know I am strong enough to get through this without smoking! I also saved probably $150+ on a carton or 2 that I knbow I would normally smoke on vacation!! When I first booked my trip I was dreading this day and this week it was not even a thought!  Day 157 and going strong!! 

Alyssadone

Day 147

Posted by Alyssadone Apr 25, 2016

Haven't blogged in a while and am anxiously waiting for my 6 month mark to celebrate my next milestone!! I am so very proud of myself!   I read the blogs every day and get motivation from it but this weight gain is becoming very hard to deal with and I am slowly becoming more depressed about my weight.  Weight has never been an issue for me, probably because I smoked instead of ate all my life! I am now at the heaviest I have ever been.  The reason I quit was because I have severe arthritis in my hips.  My hips are now bothering me more due to the weight I have gained.  I am still working out and in the last 5 days I have biked over 100 miles but am not seeing any results.  I am getting very frustrated but the ONLY good thing that comes from this anger is that I am mad at cigarettes for making me gain weight so there is no way I will smoke again because I did not gain 25 lbs just to go back to smoking. I just have to change up my workout routine and/or do more to get back to my normal weight.  Just had to vent and tonight I am going to a new boot camp with a friend to change up my same old routine to see if that will help.  I also blame my metabolism.  I just had to vent today because I am feeling very uncomfortable with myself. 

Alyssadone

Smoking dreams

Posted by Alyssadone Mar 22, 2016

I love smoking dreams!! I love them because I wake up SO disapointed in myself.  It's a good reminder of how much I want to succeed and how mad at myself I would be if I slipped! 113 DOF and not stopping! Have a great smoke free week everyone! 

Alyssadone

Day 102

Posted by Alyssadone Mar 11, 2016

I am A LITTLE concerned that spring is coming up. I am nervous that once I am outside more, I will want to smoke. More outdoor activites, more drinking, etc....  I booked a vacation to NC from May 7th-14th with 10 friends.  I almost did not say yes but I did not want my quit to interefere with having fun and experiencing new places.  Now the 10 poeple going half smoke and half do not so I am hoping that the non smokers will be helpful to me. I should be more excited for my trip but this knot in my stomach comes up every so often and I just hope I can stay strong! It's a 12 hour drive so I am 1) hoping I drive with the non smokers and 2) be able to bring my bike so I can bike ride while I am there to remind myself of how good my lungs feel. Any sugestions on a first vacation would be greatly appreciated! THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND FOR ALL THE CONGRATULATIONS ON 100 DAYS! 

Alyssadone

Day 91

Posted by Alyssadone Feb 29, 2016

I made it to Day 91!! Feels like forever but well worth it.  I went shopping for a new mountain/hybrid bike over the weekend. I am waiting for the sale April 1st but that is my present for making it 90 days!! Thank you to everyone who commented on my blogs or wrote blogs that I read.  This site has helped me tremoundously.  I know I still have a long way to go and I plan to make it 2 FULL years before I consider myself a non-smoker but the first hurdle feels great!!  Happy Monday to everyone! Also, anyone that has not made it to 90 days yet, believe me, the proud feeling you get is worth every minute of the cravings you have during those first 90! 

Alyssadone

Day 79

Posted by Alyssadone Feb 17, 2016

I was going to wait until Day 90 to blog again but had to ask about lungs hurting.  The past two nights I have not been able to even lay down or breathe heavy because my lungs hurt so bad.  That used to happen when I would smoke a lot on weekends or something but why is that happening now? Anyone else have this happen? It scared me BUT also reminded me why I never want to smoke again.  It's gone now but it seems to only happen at night when I am laying down.  

Alyssadone

Day 70

Posted by Alyssadone Feb 8, 2016

So proud of myself! it gets easier and easier each day BUT some days (like yesterday), I wanted to smoke just to smoke.  There was no reason for it.  Those cravings are happening more and more. It's not that I am stressed or angry but it is just like my mind says that sounds good right now.  Good thing about those cravings for me, they come and go and my mood remains the same.  I am also figuring how how to cope with stress or anger in other ways than to sit and ***** and smoke.  Now, I almost make a solution or if it's something very small, I just forget it.  I can see this helping me in other areas of my life and just another positive reason to keep quitting!! Happy Monday and I hope everyone enjoys their week smoke free! 

Alyssadone

Day 51

Posted by Alyssadone Jan 20, 2016

I made it to my first milestone, 50 days! I am so excited and the two thoughts (for lack of a better word) that get me through is that 1) cigarettes DO NOT EXIST!!! That's it, they just don't.  I love this because I am not missing anything, I am not craving anything, I am just finding other ways to deal with every day life.  I am now at the point where I my depression is lifting and I am thinking of other things to occupy my time.  My 2nd thought that really helps me is thinking of smoking as a break up.  My last break up I wanted to call or yell every minute of every day right after.  Every day, that need and anger got less and less and almost 1 year later, if the thought of him pops in my head (which it still does), it's like EH, no big deal, go away. lol.  Smoking is a lot like breaking up with someone and even though the thought may creep in from time to time, it happens less and less and the emotions tied to the thought are also less and less.  I made the decision to not call or yell at my ex, I am making the decision to not smoke!   So anyone that has gone through a break up, think of that when you are quitting, that has helped me and hopefully that will help someone else! Next Milestone 100 days!!!